No Need to Fear the Faltering

Final exams are just around the corner, and close on their heels? Graduation! The author of our third entry on chapters 18 and 19, Autumn, is graduating, and you might have guessed from her picture, that she is just the tiniest bit happy about it. She's clearly had the support of her husband, and I think you'll appreciate information in her entry below that explains just how thankful she is for that. Happy reading!

Priscilla, Suzanne, and Ranya are three women who inspired me to try something new through their stories and courage. Each woman made great points in chapter 18 and 19 that helped me reflect on my own faith. Chapter 18 was called Faltering Faith, and Priscilla expressed to readers that her faith faltered when her sick mother came to visit her family. Priscilla’s body became weak from stress, and her faith was tested. I enjoyed reading Ranya's response to Priscilla's story about taking care of her mother. Ranya shared that "Ultimately it's a choice we make as individuals-to have faith" (Ranya, 2006). Just like Priscilla's story, there have been many instances over this last year where I have found myself faltering in my faith. It is harder for us to remain faithful and believe that God has a purpose for the painful situations of life. Just this last November, I felt as though the world was coming to an end when my husband lost his job, forcing him to find a new job in San Jose. Stress attacked my body and my own faith in God was hanging on by a string. I have been able to make it through this difficult semester without my husband constantly by my side because of my dear friends, just like Priscilla was able to fight through her difficult and stressful moments with Ranya and Suzanne by her side. I feel that friends are a big help when it comes to faith. They are the people that can keep us remain accountable and offer encouragement when our own faith falters.

Chapter 19 is called From Here to Eternity. Suzanne's discussion about where she stands with her faith reminded me of what I learned in CFS 134 this semester. She expressed that no one should judge another person's faith. Accepting others and not looking down upon them is something that Suzanne learned from her faith club friends. After listening to all of the guest speakers this semester, I have become more culturally competent and more accepting of other faiths. I had always thought that my faith should be experienced by everybody, but many individuals are happy with their own faith and now I fully accept that.

During the reading I found myself being drawn to Ranya's stories. I think it may be because of the common Muslim stereotype that has consumed our country since 9/11. I wanted to know more of what a Muslim’s life is like, including their faith. She surprised me by being a very strong woman who supported her faith with her whole heart. When beginning the reading, I thought Ranya would have been the woman in the faith club that had the most trouble with faltering in her faith, but I was wrong. In my opinion, Ranya showed the most love for her faith by defending it and positively representing it. I hope one day I can be as confident with defending my faith as she was.

This reading made me think of children who I may come into contact with during my future career, and being considerate of the different religions. Understanding different religions and cultures is important, and respecting others’ faith is crucial for building a relationship with students and their parents. After Professor Reid shared the letter that Adam, one of the speakers from our gay parent panel, sent to her about little T.J.'s school, it really opened my eyes to see how significant it is to be respectful of others just like the three women in the book did with each other.

I am glad I had the opportunity to read a book like this. It made me happy to see Ranya’s, Suzanne’s, and Priscilla’s faith and friendship grow in different ways. They inspired me to reexamine my own faith, and my opinion on others with different beliefs. They also reassured me that I am not the only person that struggles with a faltering faith. It is very touching that a group of women from such divergent backgrounds can have a mutual respect for each other, and furthermore a tight bond of friendship.

Sharing the Journey

Our second entry on chapters 18 and 19 was written by Mandy. Enjoy.

As I started reading The Faith Club, I was a little apprehensive. I did not know if the book would be preaching about how good religion can be in one’s life. As I finished the book my opinion had totally changed about others’ religion. I will be the first to admit that I am not secure in my faith; it actually make me feel very uncomfortable to talk about it. But as I finished the book, I feel that I need to embrace other faiths to become more secure in my own. While reading The Faith Club, I was very impressed with how these ladies openly discussed how they had trouble within their own faith. They often wondered if their faith was strong enough. When Pricilla discussed her faith at the beginning of chapter 18, I felt an immediate connection to her experience.

At the beginning of chapter 18, Priscilla discusses going to visit her mother, but gets into a situation where she is not comfortable. Her mother was getting older and her memory was fading fast. Priscilla had a very hard time seeing her mother disorientated. Priscilla questioned her faith, hoping it was strong enough to get her through this situation, and help her stay strong. As I was reading these two chapters I found myself connecting with Priscilla’s experience. Just two years ago, my family watched my grandmother lose her memory right in front of our eyes. When my grandmother first started forgetting things I did not think it was anything to worry about. As she got older things got a lot worse. At a young age, my grandmother forgot who I was, and would often ask me “Where is Mandy?” I would literally be sitting across the table from her when this happened. I had a very hard time dealing with this and often could not control my emotions. My mother also had a hard time seeing her mother’s memory fade. As my grandma became more disoriented, being around her was very hard. She rarely remembered anything from her past and often questioned where she was. My mother finally had to place her, along with my grandpa, in an assisted living community because it was not safe for my grandmother to live in her home anymore. When my grandma passed, she had no idea who she was or who any of my family members were.

I often wonder: If my faith was stronger, would I have handled this situation differently? I have never been a person of faith, but I have always believed in god. I hope to learn more about my faith and learn about other religions. After reading Priscilla’s experience and seeing how her faith helped her get through the difficult time, I was inspired to find my faith. As I read chapter 19, “From Here to Eternity,” the ladies discussed how their faith club has changed them into being more secure in their faiths and more accepting of others’ beliefs. I can say that after reading this book I am enlightened to do the same. Most faiths believe in one thing, god or something that is equivalent to someone like god. I believe it is important to embrace diversity, and I think that The Faith Club has helped me in my beliefs.

The Final Chapters

Emily wrote our first entry on our final chapters -- 18 and 19. This is what she said about her picture: "I have included a picture of me and mom because she is the person who I am closest to and she is a major influence in my life. I am so lucky to have her there for me everyday." You'll see in Emily's entry that she really values friendships, and it sounds like her mom is one of her best friends! Happy reading.

Having been assigned the last two chapters, I knew I was going to have to read the entire book to understand the end. Initially, I believed that this book was going to be three women discussing their faiths in a concise and matter of fact manner, but what I found was that it was an amazing story of growing in faith, learning, and gaining acceptance and understanding of others.

As the book came to a close, Ranya, Priscilla, and Suzanne had become more than women discussing faith, they were friends that leaned on one another for support and guidance. As I read this story, I began thinking about the friends that I have and their faiths. I realized that I am not close to many people of different faiths, and I began to envy the relationship that the women of The Faith Club share. For years I have wondered about life after death and how to handle “faltering faith.”

The struggles that Priscilla faced regarding her faith really spoke to me. I started thinking about the way that I perceive faith, and how I determine if God has abandoned me or not. Priscilla has panic attacks when she is feeling overwhelmed by life, and she correlates her panic attacks with times that she feels that she has lost faith. I was surprised by her reaction because I tend to rely heavily on my faith when I am struggling. Thankfully, Priscilla has women who she can talk to, and they can help her through the difficult times.

The friendship that is formed between the women is made stronger by the obstacles that they had to overcome. Each woman had to learn to accept the other’s religious differences, and as they overcame stereotypes, their friendship became stronger. The strength of their friendship made me think about how important companionship is to people, and the friendships that I have. I depend on my friends to be there for me in good times and bad. Ranya, Priscilla, and Suzanne were all there for one another when each woman was looking for answers in regards to her spirituality and faith.

In the final chapter, questions surface about life after death, and whether there is a heaven. Priscilla included a poem called Epitaph by Merritt Malloy. The poem allowed me to see death in a new light, and it helped to allay some of the fears that I have regarding death. As a Christian person, I believe in heaven, but I have always wondered about the people who are left behind on Earth. The pain that comes with death is severe for those close to the deceased, and the poem reminded me that while the person may be gone, the love that they shared and gave to people is not.

Reading this book gave me new insight about other faiths. I found the information and stories shared by each woman relevant to things that I have gone through in life. For years I have felt like my faith was faltering, and it was inspiring to read how each woman found her way back to God and increased her faith along the way. As I read this book, I found that so many of my questions about religion were answered by each woman, that my faith in God was renewed.

A Retro Entry

This is Toua and his girlfriend, Yer, in traditional Hmong clothing before going to the Hmong New Year's celebration. Toua included this picture because he did an entry on chapter 10 and 11 that involved prayers and rituals, and Hmong New Year is certainly and important part of culture and tradition for many Hmong families.

And I know...you're wondering why he did an entry on chapters 10 and 11 when we've just finished entries on chapters 16 and 17...well, that's my fault! He sent his entry and photo a very, VERY long time ago, and I let them get lost in the shuffle of my blog files. So, my apologies to Toua for this "retro entry," but I'm certain you'll all still enjoy it!

In Chapters 10 and 11, the values of prayers and rituals were the main focus. Priscilla describes to Suzanne and Ranya her first memories of using prayers to God. She explains how she "turned to prayer in desperation and fear" (p.146) when she was a teenager experiencing pain and suffering. In believing that her body could not survive on its own, Priscilla had to believe that there was someone bigger than herself, someone who had control over the whole universe. Throughout her life, it seemed her prayers had been granted, as she had many blessings. Knowing so, Priscilla takes nothing for granted and holds onto all her blessings. Over a period of time, she said there was not much to ask god for; she only asked him for the safety and good health of the ones she loves.

I can relate to turning to prayers in hardship and in times of need. Throughout my life prayers were always my last action when I felt like there was no more hope. Growing up I knew nothing about the Christian religion, yet I still prayed to a God I didn’t believe in nor have knowledge about. In praying to God, I gain hope that everything is going to be okay. I also feel more relief after praying because I’m no longer the only one burdened with pain and suffering; this someone named God who millions of people believe in is probably next to me also.

In my early teens, I became more curious of the Christian faith because I felt like God had helped me and blessed me. I began to explore Christianity through friends of mine to get a better understanding and found this religion to have many positive effects on those who believe in God. I was invited many times to attend church with my friends and even asked to convert to Christianity, but because of my family’s strong beliefs and pride in Shamanism, I could not let go of my own religion for another. Even though my religion does not have the practice of prayers, I still find praying to be a very great way of releasing stress and pain instead of bottling up feelings and burdens.

The women also talked about the practice of rituals. When talking about rituals, Ranya explained why she did not like the idea that she has to wear a cover over her head and act a certain way just to be considered Muslim. She also explained how she does not believe in a religion that has the belief that you have to do so many things in a certain way in order to get to heaven. Suzanne later replies “the fact that some people are like that should not affect Rayna’s relationship with God” (p.162).

I agreed with Ranya and also dislike how people have to act a certain way and do things in a certain way just to be accepted. I believe there is always more than one way of doing something like there is more than one answer to any open-minded question. If God is the creator of the universe, I believe he will accept everyone for their differences because we are all children of God. He will not choose us by the way we pray to him, the way we dress in the house of god, the way we eat, and the way we praise his name. I also agree with what Suzanne has to say about how other people’s ideas and actions should not have an effect on your relationship with God. I believe that everyone has their own beliefs of how to do things correctly or how the world came about. We all have our own beliefs, and we all should have the right to choose which religion best fits us instead of being told to do things in a certain way in order to be accepted.

After talking to Suzanne and Priscilla through their Faith Club, Ranya felt more confident and secure about her Muslim identity. Ranya contacted the ASMA (American Society for Muslim Advancement) and attended the next meeting. Ranya is happy and excited to have met a group of people who she can relate to and work with to “improve relations between Muslim Americans and the larger American society” (p.178).

Rituals and prayers are both related and can be a big part of our identity. Just as Suzanne said, rituals help create communities, and prayers are a way of asking to be blessed by someone bigger than us. Doing things one way to show respect is a good ritual, but doing things in a certain way to be accepted is never the only way. Ranya was once affected by the fact that some people want things done in a certain way. After taking the time to think and accept her own beliefs, she was able to make contact with others who can relate to her as Muslim American, and is more confident about her Muslim identity.

Facing our Communities/ Awakenings

"I chose this picture because it means a lot to me. This is one of my best friends. We have been friends for 17 years." Friends are obviously important to Rosaura, the author our our final entry on chapters 16 and 17. Happy reading!

As I read chapters 16 and 17, I realized how important it is for Priscilla, Ranya and Suzanne to have a deep understanding of everything that their religion implies. Priscilla and Suzanne were concerned about the stereotypes and negative comments relating to their religion. By reading these two chapters, I learned that the authors have also experienced moments where their beliefs have been challenged by others.

The authors believe that their religions have been difficult for them because of all the stereotypes. In one of the chapters, Ranya mentions that she was once challenged by a kindergartner who had told her mother that she was fascinated with a female Muslim teacher. The little girl explained to her mother that the Muslim teacher would cover her hair with a headscarf, and told the child she did that so that other men would not be attracted to her.

Ranya, who is Muslim, was asked by the mother of the little girl why she did not cover her hair like other Muslims. Ranya was surprised; she did not know how to respond. The little girl believed that all Muslims are expected to cover their hair. Ranya explained that not all Muslims cover their hair. In other words, not all Muslims like to cover their hair; instead they may follow the religion differently. I thought this was an interesting part in the chapter because I was able to see that Ranya felt bad when she was questioned about not covering her hair.

On the other hand, Priscilla mentions that there is a connection between her religion and other religions. She mentioned that on September 11, 2001, she noticed that people were united in their prayers, asking God to help the victims of the attacks. She feels that no matter what religion someone might follow, we are all united when we pray.

In my personal opinion, God is universal and will respond to anyone’s prayer regardless of the religion one may practice. When we pray, we are all looking for the same answers, and are hoping that our prayers overcome our struggles. I believe that if we educate ourselves about other religions, we will find many similarities between them.

Suzanne mentioned that she felt challenged by a boy during a morning class. The boy asked Suzanne whether she would have to believe that all other religions were wrong in order for her to believe that her religion was the ideal. Suzanne explained to the boy that everyone who does well and helps others is accepted by God. She added that everyone should follow the religion they feel most comfortable with and that it is always better not to judge other religions.

In my opinion, I believe that God is present in the lives of those who believe in him. I feel that we as a society have to learn how to understand the differences and similarities among religions. If we do not learn to respect other religions and beliefs, we might hurt other people’s feelings. In fact, sometimes we may get offended when other people do not understand our practices and values. In other words, people may stereotype or critique the way we follow our religion. Sometimes we may get to the point where we want to prove to others that our religion is the ideal.

I personally identify with how the authors feel about their journey to understand not only their religion, but other religions as well. By reading these chapters, I was able to see how the authors are determined to understand the causes of the many stereotypes about religions. It was also interesting to see how they are trying to educate themselves about other religions. I feel that almost everyone has experienced a moment where their religion has been questioned by others.

I remember when I was growing up that I had to go through a situation in which my family and I had to choose between a family’s friendship and our religion. I remember one day meeting a girl at the bus stop. Since that day, we became best friends. In our early years of friendship, I remember how our mothers would always debate about our religions. My friend and her family practice the Baptist religion and my family and I are Roman Catholics. I recall seeing our mothers with the bible in their hands, comparing what religion was better. At the beginning, it was hard for my friend and me to be real friends. My friend’s mother wanted my family and me to switch to their religion.

My mother eventually told my friend’s mother that we would not change religions because our religion was part of us. My mother also told the lady that we could all be friends, but we needed to respect each other’s religion. At first, my friend and I were confused and did not understand what was happening. Later, we understood that we had different religions, but we decided we were not going to end our friendship based on that. After that conversation, our families were able to have a good friendship.

Now, I can say that I have learned a lot about the Baptist faith. Our families and I have learned to respect one another’s practices and beliefs. Overall, understanding that we had different religions allowed my friend and me to continue with our friendship. It is essential to respect what others believe. It is important to avoid stereotyping other religions and to respect our own religion as well. It is indispensable to learn how to respond to questions others may have about our religion and avoid falling into the stereotypes that others may have about the religion.